Thursday, October 04, 2012

Life is a bitch... but she has her reasons!

I know for a fact that life is a bitch. She has fucked me times and times again, enough for me to sink it in my brain. Life is a bitch. When you think you are building and growing, and doing something meaningful for yourself and yours... She is just waiting in the corner to rape you to blood!
I sometimes wish I was blessed with the "will to ignore", instead of this thirst of knowledge for all things knowledgeable. 

"The more you know, the less you feel...", the song says. Is it really the way it works?


I have been taught to avoid building expectations on people, situations, human relations. Our instincts of survival surpass anything our imagination can conceive, and it's only when we are drawn to deal with them we fully understand to which extent WE ARE NOT MASTERS OF OURSELVES.

I have my share of contradictions, of wrongful doings, of bad reactions. I express too much, too strongly  (for most)   the way I feel, the way I think. But after being so much aware of  "the ways of the humans", starting with myself as a subject of study, it is impossible for me to act candid, as if I could trust blindly. I don't even trust MYSELF that way (I did, and have deceived/ surprised/ shocked/ scared myself in a few occasions). At least I have the advantage of having seen face to face the worst of me, and how I can act and react in a very extreme situation. I do not recommend for any and everyone to touch rock bottom like I once did, though. 

Funny thing is, our society is organised for our survival instinct to remain asleep. Only extreme situations, who call for extreme measures, can nowadays contribute to exposing the real Nature of mankind. But when it does get exposed, what a spectacle it is! We are naturally drawn to limit risks for our own good, even if it means putting others at risk. We dare not put ourselves in jeopardy for an idea, for a principle. Unless others do it, then we can join in without having to assume it. The PACK EFFECT...

I do, nonetheless, every once in a while, put my trust in people. I cannot live in total cynicism and denial of my own wants and needs. So I chose carefully. I measure the impact of each step towards a stage of vulnerability I will achieve, in the very action of opening up my heart and soul. I want to believe that I can do better, that others can do better. I am flawed, and eventually, it ends up showing. But I have the will to improve, to surpass myself, and am fully capable of such, if I put myself in the right conditions. But it helps to be helped. It helps to feel someone is taking those same risks as me. It helps knowing that, when I open up, I am not a mere option, but a priority for the persons I open up to. Because I make them a priority for me. And though I sometimes fail to convey that, I have made immense efforts through the years to make it quite evident for those I love.

I should have known better. I should have learnt to expect nothing from no one. But I am a romantic, an idealist, a fool. I advance in life without an emotional plan B. I place all my chips in the ones I love, and sometimes it scares the hell out of me. I have lost. I have dealt with the loss. If necessary, would be strong enough to deal with it again. This I know for a fact. But I do not want to. It takes a lot of energy to be positive, not so much to smash what  has been built. And I hope it's just skeptical me fearing the worse (as life has taught me), but it feels like storm is coming once again. I only wish those I stand by and who REALLY stand by me will prevail through the ordeal. 

Life is not easy. It never was supposed to be. We are born, we die. In between, we try to make some sense out of it. That's where I stand. Today and until the end.



Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Daughters, Roots and Wings...

I listened to Nas's song, "Daughters". Like any normal father, I thought about my own. Living in another city, in another country. My beautiful 7 year old I am so proud of, who is so much like me in certain ways, so different in others... The one I love and cherish above all. The one I dedicate every effort and breath in my life to.




The song got me thinking. My daughter is 10 years younger than Nas's, so he is dealing with a whole different level of problems, problems I aforesee, but have no means of dealing with until they HAPPEN. But the tender age of 7 brings its own lot of parenting issues; I would say, it is a crucial stage in a child's development. My daughter loves me. And she damn sure knows I love her.
But am I a good father?
Who knows. We think we do enough, we think we do the right thing, we make choice in their name because they are in no position to make them themselves, and then sit and wonder if our choices were correct. Then life answers to us, sooner or later.

The thing is, I wish I was a better father. A more present one. One she could actually call and SEE within minutes, when she needs to. But such is life... I do what I can with whatever means I am given. More than child support, more than money, more than cool holidays, a father is supposed to be the ultimate reference for a daughter, a role model, The Man Above All Men, the one who will define the type of men she will consider letting into her life. What does she see when she is with me? What is HER perception of HER Father?
********************************************************************************

 I have her for vacations, weekends when I can, I spend quality time with her, but I skip all the day-by-day hassle, much to my own sorrow. I didn't sign up for this. Having kids and not living with them is not my conception of family, yet, it is my current status. Life made it so, and though I have made my peace with it a long time ago... I can't help but wonder (and see) in which way it affects my daughter.

I am not perfect, nor will I ever be in her eyes. Every day in this world I try hard to BE the father I want to be, I can be, she needs me to be. From a distance, but not at all absent. Concerned. Protective. It is not an easy task to raise a child, it is even worse trying to do it from another country. That is why I have to give a lot of props to her Mother. No matter what went down between us, we share the best thing in the world. And she has taken over the task of taking care of our precious treasure DAILY. To the best of her abilities. My role is a frustrating one, quite like when my daughter was still in the belly, and I was passive, waiting... Well, not quite passive, since I was helping create a secure and comfortable environment for her coming. Guess I have to continue to do that, but to a whole different level. And succeed better. 

I have to teach my baby girl the difference between right and wrong. I have to give her the tools to face whoever, whatever situation. Teach her how to fight. Not literally, of cousrse. But fight for her ideas. For her values. For her integrity. For her ambition.

"The only things we can give our children are Roots and Wings".

Roots to keep them grounded, give them sense of where they come from, of their own History, their family and cultural richness;
Wings to help them achieve their goals on their own, reach their full potential, fly in the direction they chose to, with confidence and awareness.



Parenting is a lot of work. The only one that can give you grey hair and an everending smile at the same time. You do your best, and you'll get a few things right... Eventually... The secret is to never stop trying...


"They grow fast
One day she’s ya little princess, next day she talking boy business
What is this?
They say the coolest playas and foulest heart breakers in the world
God get’s us back, he makes us have precious little girls"

Nas, in Daughters

Thursday, March 08, 2012

Stop Kony 2012 - a worldwide appeal to the masses

The power of words, the power of communication: yesterday morning, no one I know had ever heard about Joseph Kony. Today, he is World's Public Enemy number 1! Regardless of how little we know about him or his army, his current whereabouts or the situation in Uganda! for all we care, he is the next target to be brought down, because a video on facebook told us so!


ALL HAIL THE BIG BROTHER! HE IS LEADING THE WAY! LET US BLINDLY AND TRUSTFULY FOLLOW HIM, FOR HE KNOWS THINGS WE DO NOT, AND IS MORE LIKELY TO TAKE US TO THE PROMISSED LAND OF BLISS!


Guess there is no questionning why Zuckerberg has been elected Man of the Year in 2010 by TIME Magazine. He created a tool that made possible the kind of sheep-like behaviour we are now experiencing every other month ON A GLOBAL SCALE like never before, with some tragic news or reality brought to us via facebook (many of which are often proven hoaxes, false or inaccurate). 
One thing I am sure, and I can bet right here, right now: with this title, given the HYPE surrounding the subject, this might become the most read post on my otherwise discreet blog!
I am in no position to criticize the actions of Invisible Children Inc., the organisation raising awareness about war criminal Joseph Kony. A little research on the net allowed me to aknowledge his existence - Yes, I checked; I had never heard of him, and I do not take for a sure fact whatever I see or hear on the internet, and you shouldn't either!
So, in the 30 min. film that's shocking the internet, Kony is depicted a war lord, the evil type you only see in movies, and you sometimes wish you could kill with your own hands. He has a history of violence, terror and barbarism in a country (Uganda) no stranger to that matter in the course of the 20th century (Idi Amin Dada is the worst possible exemple). He enslaves, enrolls children in his army. He rapes, terrorizes, burns down villages, leaving a thread of blood and desolation upon his path. But what does his army fight for (do they even fight, still)? What is the reason of the conflict going on there? Who are the parts involved? What has the international community done about it? All of these questions have little or no answer in the film. They focus primarily on the character of Kony ("a lame name for a war lord if you ask me!" a friend of mine wrote on facebook!!!) and his mischevious behaviour. Nothing justifies his and his army's conduct, that is a sure fact. No arguing about it, once again. But we need to have a broader perspective in order to avoid acting without thinking, yielding to immediate emotions who are very normally triggered by the exposure of such tragic facts.
The movie focus on getting YOU involved. It tells how little the US government is willing to do about the situation, and how YOU can be one more voice to make this matter heard. It has gotten celebrities involved. It has gotten politicians involved. Let's make Kony famous, so he cannot escape, anywhere on this planet. The deadline is december 31st 2012. If WE don't catch Kony by then, WE will have failed miserably, thus proving we are not worthy human beings, and there is no hope for the future.
So marketing for the greater good has been deployed. The image of Kony, Bin Laden and Hitler, in a Shepard Fairey-like stylisation, is likely to become the front logo of this fight, like the Mask of Anonymous has become the symbol of internet "justice". Bracelets are being sold, funds are being raised, protests are being held, the world has REACTED, has awakened from its dorment state to fight a just war. The communication is aggressive, and it ought to be. The only way to deal with this type of problem is being relentless about it.
Awareness is raised. The planet is mobilised. WHAT NOW? Shall we go massively to Uganda with a gun and a photo of Kony, and flood him out the jungle? OOH! Wait, he is not in Uganda no more, he is in Congo! How about military intervention? how easy is it for a country to send troops to another to catch a militia? not that hard, right? I mean, they are hiding in the forest, and there's only so many trees... (but why, then, the FARC has lasted so damn long in Colombia?????)
Let's say it's remotely simple to send armed troops to wherever he is hiding and get Kony. if he has such fearful army, he will not go down without a fight. And his soldiers, according to the documentary, are... CHILDREN! Are we going to send an army kill children to save children? Hell of a metaphysical question I would not like to answer...
In my humble opinion, there are some things wrong with this approach:
-This very romanesque-like action, made legitimate by envolving the Humanity in its whole (meaning: those with facebook. Who today are more than the world population 200 years ago, as stated in the video. Yet to check those numbers) is based on a very long struggle from the IC organisation. They started this fight a while ago, as far back as 2003, and it's all very honorable of them to have taken real interest, persevered with the will of bringing this subject to light. But situation in Uganda evolved. The facts remain the facts, but today, Kony does not represent the same level of threat he did in the early and mid 2000s. He is still accountable for his crimes, and there is no doubt he should pay for them. But there are other priorities, such as dealing with the traumatized survivors of all these tragedies, or dealing with much more active warlords around the globe;
-Other thing is, they invested a huge amount of energy and funds in this cause, and it has now become not quite irrelevant, but more symbolic than effective. The LRA, Kony's army of fanatics, is surviving in exile outside  the Ugandan borders. The Ugandan army itself could be held accountable for crimes of war, yet Invisible Children Inc. has them as their allies in this war on war. Disturbing, to say the least;
-Finally, the goal of Invisible Children is CLEARLY to force US to take action into their own hands and "help"(?) the Ugandan finish once and for all with Kony's actions. Though, I maintain, it is a noble purpose, it is also a way of interfering with a country's internal affairs in a way that bothers me. They have done it all through the 20th century, and the begining of the 21st, Lybia being the most recent example of it. Khadafi was a criminal too, but by taking action in a total extrapolation of UN's resolution that aimed to protect civilians EXCLUSIVELY, the Allied Forces who took the man down have acted in their own particular interest, regardless of what the African Union, for instance, had to say. There are not such interests in Uganda, and that dictates a much bigger restraint on this matter. Which is good in a way, because africans are entitled to fight their own fights, and deal with their own internal plagues. Westerners have no right to "play God", saying "we will stop Joseph Kony, and I will tell you how we will do it!" That is a dangerous simplification of a complex situation. And relying on war criminals to catch war criminals is the type of situation that allowed the talibans to rise and shine at the dawn of the century. With the impact we have all come to know and regret...
My point, and it's a little cloudy here, is that most of the time, it's not just a matter of will that'll change a given situation, however bad it may be. There's a lot in stakes here, a lot to think about, one of the points being, once the awareness is raised, finding an accurate realistic way of ACTING for those children in danger, for the terror to end, for the scars to heal.
Another issue this whole Kony Campaign raises is the eternal paternalism of western countries towards Africa, and developing countries altogether. Is it up to american students, activists and organisations to do a Government's job? For how long will Africa be under intravenous infusion, depending on the western world for aid, for conflict resolution, for HUMANITY????


Is Africa going to be THAT ILL FOREVER, that it cannot find within its sons and daughters the cure for its own  condition? Will the world Peace rely more easily on american filmmakers than on National and International organs of Sovereignty?
"If you want to help a man, don't give him the fish, teach him how to go fishing."
Proverb


____________________________________________________________________
Related links:
International Criminal Court Investigation opening on Kony:
Kony aknowledged as a global terrorist:
Invisible Children Inc website:

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

LINSANITY, part I (the making of the American Dream)



10 Days. It was all it took Jeremy Lin to be given a spot on the court, take it and not leave it anymore, making it into the starting 5. It all started on February 4th.  Mike d'Antoni, head coach of the New York Knicks, out of options after a very bad start in the season , throws a "kid" into the yard as a point guard. Jeremy Lin, 23, ex Golden State Warrior, ex Houston Rocket, undrafted in 2010, roughly 5 minutes per game so far this season with the Knicks. And then...

BOOM!

After 36 minutes, the fans, the staff, the WORLD had to rub their eyes to read the stats line! 25 points, 7 assists, 5 rebounds, 2 steals, 1 turnover against the New Jersey Nets, against All Star point guard Deron Williams... and the WIN!!... WHAT IN THE WORLD WAS HAPPENING!?!?
The Madison Square Garden found the most unexpected hero in this low profile so-far-under-the-radar young player of chinese descent. It was a total surprise to see him shine the way he did and help the Knicks obtain a long sought victory. TOTAL SURPRISE, you say? Well... it depends for who...

During the pre season of 2010-11, when Lin, fresh out of Harvard, was playing at the NBA Summer League in Vegas, he did quite an impression on some insiders. Especially when he was opposed to soon-to-be first round draft pick John Wall, and was far from ridiculous. 6/12 from the field in 28 min. (Wall was 4/19 in 33 min) owed him an ovation from the audience at the end of the game, and the interest of a few scouts from the NBA. He ultimately signed, undrafted, foro his home team, the Golden State Warriors, who were in no position to give him the place under the spotlight we now know him to deserve.

February 6th 2012. Big Star Melo Anthony out on an injury, Stoudemire out mourning his brother, dead in a car accident... Seems like Lin will be given another chance to run the show against Utah. 28 points, 8 assists, 2 rebounds, 2 steals (8 turnovers...) and yet another win! HE DID IT AGAIN! To this point, the hype is starting to build up. So does criticism. "Lucky games", "he hasn't faced a real point guard yet" (REALLY??? what do you consider Deron Williams to be???), "that hype will crash once they play away from home"...

Ok, so the time has come. The opponent team? Washington Wizards. The place? Away. The direct opponent? no other than JOHN WALL HIMSELF. This starts to look like a real test now, doesn't it?And what's the verdict? Well... Wall ended the game with 29 points, 6 assists, 1 rebound, 1 block and 2 steals. Lin had 23 points, 10 assists, 4 rebounds, 1 block, 1 steal... and the victory AGAIN!!!  History repeating, Lin is ovationed by the crowd, away from home, inside Wall's walls!

There is no denying it now! Lin is all over the news, America's newest sensation, and it didn't take him much longer to make the cover of Sports Illustrated: an epic win over the Lakers and a dream stats line - 38 pts, 4 rbds, 7 asts, 2 stls in 39 minutes; even Kobe, who prior to the game was saying Lin was «nothing to make a big fuss about», had to bow down to the New Emperor of New York!



After a hard earned win over the Minnesota TimberWolves, of Spanish boy wonder Ricky Rubo, Lin was submitted to his second big test: the return of Amar'e Stoudemire. Back from his mourning period, he was now to play with the new found starting point guard (since Baron Davis doesn't seem to be coming out of the infirmary anytime soon...). Observers said the challenge for Lin would be to keep that level of greatness once the two Superstars would return to the court. With  Melo still out, it wasn't the real deal, but there was already half an answer there.

The game was not an easy one; José Calderon and his Raptors  were well aware of what they were dealing with, so they gave NY no rest. Still, LINSANITY STRUCK AGAIN! He ended up being the top scorer of the game (27 points); he had the most assists (11). He pulled it off quite well, pick-and-rolling with Amar'e like we thought he would, paving his way into the basket everytime he could, giving the tempo for the born-again NYKnicks. but his last nail on the coffin, his coup de grâce was definitely his 3 point shot ForTheWin! AND  ON VALENTINE'S DAY! (renamed Va-LIN-tine's Day for the occasion...) With 0.5 seconds to play after J-Lin dropped his nonchalant-like 3 point bomb, there wasn't much the Raptors could do. HE OFFICIALLY BECAME A LEGEND at that very moment!

 Would the season end now, this young player would be crowned the MIP of 2012. From unsigned hype to benchwarmer to clutch player in just a matter of days... The American Dream doesn't get any better than this! Hollywood could not have pulled this one off, by any stretch of the imagination!!!! No writer would have dared to combine such improbable odds and turn it into a movie, EVER! Ivy League graduate becomes New York's Finest! Anonymous player makes a staggering breakthrough in the NBA! Chinese player becomes 2012 NBA jersey's best seller! the Madison Square Garden stock is on the rise, thanks to merchandising profits generated by LINSANITY! Boy Wonder breaks Shaq's record for most points scored in the first 5 games as a starter in an NBA team!

So now, the city of New York, the entire United States, the whole Basketball Planet, as well as the financial world, the NY Stock Exchange, the top execs at Nike and over a billion people in the asian continent have their eyes focused on this young player of chinese descent. Does it really matter what origins he has? Well... I would love to say no, but the fact is that it does. It may have played a role on him being so underrated despite his playmaker skills. Had he had other physical features, he probably would have played more minutes in Golden State, and once they realised the gem they had in hands, he would never had flown away from home; had he not been of chinese origin (the most populous country in the world), the potential for sales in the asian population (as well as the one for All Star Game votes next year and the ones to come, if the phenomenon proves to be a lasting one) wouldn't have been this big in and out of the US, and he wouldn't have a signature shoe after only 10 days of media exposure (yet to be confirmed or discarded as a hoax, but so probable...)!!!!!!!!!!

And crazy as it sounds,Jeremy has only played six games since the 4th; he hasn't had time to take some time out and analyse what is happening to him; he sure must be feeling blessed to have had the opportunity to display his talents and help his team win. He sure must think it's crazy to be propelled into the BIG GAME like this. The media attention, the pressure, the absolute obligation to perform. He is dealing with it. One day at the time. One game at the time. Let's not put him just yet in Yao Ming's footsteps, but he sure is now single-handedly representing the asian community in the NBA. I sincerely wish him the best outcome to his American Dream!!!


PS: There is Sacramento on the menu tonight. Let's hope, for the sake of the fairy tale, that they keep winning, to even their W-L balance to 15-15.